Tic tac

Times they are changing. Again. Until recently it was friends moving in together, and ultimately getting married. But we’ve now entered the baby phase. Slowly but oh very surely. Seeing my girlfriends having babies these recent past years was wonderful and impressive to watch. Tic tac. Observing how their babies are now growing is magic. Tic tic tac. But as I am now starting to notice the little bellies on my two other newlypregnant girlfriends, dare I admit that I wish that for me too? Tictactic.

As we were all four having drinks last night, Sus said out loud what I am thinking and not saying: “You should get married as you wait for the job transfer. It would at least be easier on both of you financially, especially as V is not working.“ Well that’s not exactly what I think, but part of it. Getting married for financial reasons was and will never be a good enough reason for me.

But this temporary waitandpraytogetthenextjob stay in Hanover is definitely extending itself more than planned hoped. And the clock keeps ticking. Tictactictactictactictactic. And I know that M is The One for me and that we will marry. The plan was later, after the job, the move, the new life. But I reckon, why not now while we wait for this new life after all? And I’ll go even further: why not try the baby project now, as I have to wait till we move to continue with my career anyway? Why and yet why not. I do think about it. But I also have many doubts. Is it really good to precipitate things all the time? I am not quite sure about anything these days.