That thing called motherhood

I have no time to achieve anything other than taking care of Baby Em these days. Not that I have had plenty of time for myself for the last nine months. But the fact is that she's slowly sleeping less and less, her naps becoming shorter and more rare, her nights becoming shorter as well, and I fear that the situation is only going to get worse. She'll start walking soon, I mean she's already standing, so very soon I'll be running after her and will have even less time for myself.

How do other mothers do it? I spend every day and every hour with her, and don't see how I could have some free time other than leaving her with someone else, such as a babysitter. And I am not quite sure that I'm ready for that step yet. Probably soon though, as I seriously need time to start doing things like emptying the last boxes, organizing the closets, getting in shape, reading a book, going back to my sewing projects, just to name a few. Besides, affording a babysitter implies starting to work again. Definitely not there yet. I have enough in my plate as it is thank you.

I often wonder how mothers of more than one child manage everything. Two mothers of nine month old babies I know are already pregnant again, and they seem extatic. One of them is pregnant with her fourth. No joke. I am by no means saying that a second child is out of the question, but definitely not so early. I wouldn't even have my 1 and 1/2 hour of "free" time per day with that scenario. Thank you but no thank you. Not for me. Not yet at least.

M. sure seems to be ready for that second baby though, considering his reaction the other day:

me: "I have good news."

M.: "Tell me."

me: "Try guessing."

M.:"Hmmmm... you're pregnant?"

No need to continue how that conversation went, right? Point proven, he's ready. But he's not the one spending 24 hours a day with Baby Em, nursing her, changing her diapers, playing with her, carrying her, getting little sleep, having no social life, and in charge of a household. I guess if I were in his shoes, I'd be ready too. Hell, I'd even consider having more than 2 children. Fathers/men have it much easier imho. Yet I wouldn't change my place with him for anything in the world. I'd miss out on that incredible magical fullfilling beautiful and undescribable thing called motherhood.

co-sleeping

Emily has been sleeping with me since her very first night. It was not planned but just happened that way thanks to the hospital's midwife advice and my gutt feeling. Although I was completely exhausted after the birth, I just spent that first night staring at my daughter sleeping next to me. A night I will never forget.

She has been sleeping in our bed with M and I ever since then. Nevermind critics and other points of view, I have become a firm believer of all the advantages of co-sleeping. Besides, it feels right. And it will thus continue that way for now. I am however considering buying one of those co-sleeper cribs that you fix to your own bed, allowing her to be next to me, but giving her - and most importantly us as a couple - her/our own space. It certainly sounds ideal at this point, but our american bed is quite high (70cm!) and finding a european co-sleeper crib high enough seems to be a problem. My actual mission.

one hand and no time

Emily is growing fast. Too fast for my taste. She's already wearing clothes for 3 months old when she's not even 2 months, and is heavier on my poor back by the day. She's more beautiful and awake every single day. Her smiles are becoming more and more frequent. She still has her colics, but they have improved thanks to homeopathy, microtherapy, and osteopathy, meaning they thankfully don't last as long.

We've had many visits since her birth - my father, my brother, my mother twice, my grand-mother Yaya, without even mentioning the frequent visits of the locals. I am still expecting a few people though.

As for I, I only have one hand these days, the other one holding Emily in my arms (as I believe in the missing fourth trimester as they call it), and no spare time which explains why my last post was already one month ago.