Unimaginable

My little calendar shows 39 days to go today. 39 days until the birth of our baby girl. Do you believe me if I tell you that I cannot realize it? I honestly cannot. It's not that I am afraid, it's just that I cannot believe that I am soon going to give birth. I cannot conceive that a little baby - my baby - will be with me every day of my life, for the rest of my life, in about a month. Yes my belly is big and I feel her every move at this point, yes I've had more than 8 months to get used to the idea, yes I want this baby more than anything in the world. Yet, it's still unimaginable to me.

Is that normal? Or at least frequent? Do many future mothers feel that way? Do we women, ever feel ready for the big day? Or is it another of our protective reflexes, like forgetting how painful the contractions were after the birth? Please enlighten me if you can.

What an adventure indeed!

My childhood friend K has two children of her own, but as "it is the first time a good friend (of hers) is pregnant", she is excitedly living my pregnancy through pics, phone calls and emails. The other day, K said to me "what an adventure it is to be pregnant!" I didn't truly agree at the time. Didn't disagree either, but just didn't see things that way. Her words stuck with me though.

As M started complaining that I snore very loud and that he couldn't sleep, I immediately rejected the idea and thought to myself that he was exagerating. I don't snore. I never have. I probably just breathe a bit louder because of the fact that my lungs are slightly squashed by the baby. Wrong. I do snore. I suffer from pregnancy-related snoring as they put it. With 30% of other pregnant women out there. There's nothing I can do except pray that it will go away after the birth, and find my husband sleeping in the guest room some mornings in the meantime.

And now that I think about it all, how I started having nose bleeds in the second trimester, how I've become a snorer in the third, how the mere sight of any kind of cream makes me feel sick, how my blood pressure has gone down and I now need to take things slower, how I am so easily out of breath these days, how I cannot walk as fast as I used to, or when I see how big my belly is, feel startled with each baby's move, realize with a mix of fear and expectation that I only have 7 weeks left till she comes out, then I completely agree with K. What an adventure indeed!

Baby corner

It took me a while, but I'm finally done with the first self-made baby projects, which fit very nicely in the little baby corner I set up in our bedroom. Yes, she will sleep in her crib in our room in the beginning, so that I don't have to cross the flat three times per night to feed her and/or change her. Regardless of other people's opinion.

So, as you can see we have the crib (which was leant to us by sus and I simply personalised a bit with some nice Ikea baby stuff,) the changing station, as well as the self-made wallpockets (to organize and store) and the hanging hearts (a ritual I plan to copy from sus: ringing its bell each time the changing of the baby is finished.)

Other than that, we also bought the baby carseat and ordered the stroller, meaning we're doing pretty darn good timewise, I know, but there are still sooooo many things I need to buy/search/make/organize/decide before she comes. And that will happen very soon: only 76 days left, or maybe even less!

Good excuses

I realize I haven't been very good at keeping this blog up to date lately, but I do have excuses!


1. Our router decided to stop working last week, meaning we had no internet for approximately a week.


2. I have been quite busy setting up the crib, buying the changing station, as well as sewing several projects I had for our baby girl. I am almost done and promise to post pics of it soon, as I must admit that I am quite proud of myself =)



3. Last but not least, my body is certainly feeling the dreaded changes of the third trimester, as I am starting to feel uncomfortably heavy, stomach sick, insomniac, etc.

Bare with me please.

May the shopping begin!

I had my appointment with the specialist for the organ diagnosis today and M. came with me. The baby is healthy and everything seems to be functioning correctly. It measures 26 cm and weighs 400 gr, which apparently is in the standards. Also, the specialist was able to see that it's a girl, which confirms what everyone seemed to be thinking. I am extremely happy and will celebrate it by getting a much needed haircut today. Instead of a good bottle of wine, as I would have done in the past.

Oh! and of course by buying some adorable little baby things for our daughter. May the shopping begin! So been looking forward to that!

Week 20

We did go to the doctor yesterday, both very eager to find out the sex of the baby. However, it kept its fetal position, legs tight, thus refusing to let us see whether it's a girl or a boy. We'lll hopefully find that out next week, as we'll go see a specialist who'll make sure all the baby's organs are functionning properly with an ultrasound. Hopefully, as I'd love to know if I should buy cute pink little dresses or blue overalls when shopping in Miami in three weeks...

Anyway, the most important thing of course is that the baby is doing good, which it is, as well as the mother, and I am. Other than the 5 kgs gained in the last 5 months that is. My belly is showing more and more each day, which is obviously normal. A bit more bothersome is the fact that it is not clearly recognisable as a pregnant belly, meaning I just look fat to people who don't know me. Got to get get used to that I guess. Could definitely get used to M's proud and happy father face as he stared at our baby on the doctor's screen. That's also why I asked him to come with me again next week.

Over the Christmas holidays

We're back from Switzerland, where I spent 2 1/2 weeks and M joined me for the last 7 days. The skiing conditions were extraordinary this year with lots of snow, cold temperatures and a terrific blue sky. Too bad I couldn't enjoy them, skiing being too risky when pregnant. Instead, I met friends, spent time with my mother and Yaya, did lots of Christmas shopping and preparations, and grew a small belly in the meantime. That's it: can't close my pants any longer, although I still am able to wear them thanks to the discovery of the Belly Belt invention. I must say I can't wait till my gynecologist appointment next week when M will come with me for the first time and we should find out if it's a boy or a girl...

Already

Thankfully, I have been able to visit Sus yesterday and today, and I am pretty sure I was thus able to help her feel better, even if only by keeping her company, making her think about something else or making her laugh. She's the one who made me realize I should be slowly but surely starting to make some decisions, such as choosing my midwife and registering for the classes I want to take. She made the mistake to wait until late in her pregnancy, and she thus was quite limited in her choices. Indeed, by the time I come back from the Christmas holidays in Switzerland, it will be January, and I will be in the 20th week, so if I want to take the yoga class for pregnant women for example, I should at least find out when the classes begin and register before the class is full.

As for the midwife, I really hope I find one who speaks either english, french or spanish, which would make me much more comfortable. But another wish I have, is that she can be present during the birth, as here in Germany your gynecologist is not in charge of the delivery. You choose the hospital, and pray that you'll like the gynecologist in charge that day/night when the baby decides to come. So if at least the midwife would be there, I think I'd feel better about having that familiar face around, other than my husband of course. Meaning I would need to choose a midwife who works at the hospital where I want to give birth. Meaning I need to be choosing the hospital... already!?!?

... three important decisions I need to be taking very soon, although I thought I had all the time in the world ahead of me. Any advice is more than welcome.

The BIG news

I can finally say it. It's official at last. I am 12 weeks pregnant. I feel great. I feel happy. I feel zen. I feel eager. The due date is June 3rd, and I cannot express how much I look forward to these 6 months.