In limbo

My life is a big question mark at the moment, consisting of uncertainties and undefined variables. Yes, it is obviously and logically due to the intermediate or transitional state I am going thru, the big move, but it's a bit disheartening. Especially when all I am trying to do is 'help' my boss by giving her the time to find my replacement, whom she then wants me to train for 2 entire weeks. It's all fine and dandy in theory, except for the fact that she's already had 12 days but hasn't arranged anything yet, and for the inevitability that I have to pack all my stuff, empty my flat and make all the necessary arrangements to leave Madrid before Christmas. It’s simply not going to be feasible, and frankly, I am sorry to say that I refuse to be the one suffering from it. I am gonna have to play dirty.

Tchin tchin

I have a plane to catch in less than 3 hours. I am flying to Bordeaux, France, for the surprise birthday party of my friend Mathilde and meeting Nat at the airport. Everything has been organised by Mathilde's sister and the birthday girl has absolutely NO IDEA of what's expecting her tonight. 50 of her friends will be in the room when she arrives.

I have not seen Mathilde since she left Madrid more than a year and half ago. Those were the times when the 'Blondes Club' - Mathilde, Nat and I - (I realize this requires an explanation but it will have to be in another post!) would hang out at each other's houses almost every night, tasting Spanish wines (with the excuse of Mathilde's profession: oenology), French cheese, home-made foie gras, tapas, and of course chatting the night away. Nights which would often finish at 5am with one of us saying the famous: 'I don't think I am gonna go to work tomorrow.'

This weekend is synonym of celebrationS: her 25th birthday, The 'Blondes Club' reencounter, my moving, and who knows what else we'll find as a cause for more celebration. Tchin tchin!

Wish you all a great weekend!

The Plan

Ladies and Gentlemen, Girls and Boys, it's confirmed: I am going ahead with the temporary solution. The Plan is simple: I am leaving my job (announced it to my boss this morning and boy did it feel great!), leaving Madrid, and starting a brand new student life in Hannover January of 2006! Yup, I plan to spend the first months of 2006 taking it easy, savouring my finally living together with M, and immersing myself into the German culture. I will take intensive German classes for four months, my goal being to be fluent by the end of April. And hopefully by then, M and/or I will have found a new job in another European city which will finally take us to the long-term solution.

I am happy, I feel light and free, excited and a bit scared. It just feels right and I cannot wait to start this new phase of my life. It's time for change. At last.

Saturday night

We all celebrated M's belated birthday Saturday night. 'We all' meaning M, his entire family (parents, uncles, aunts, cousins, grandmother, sister, nephews), and me. It was nice to see all these generations together around a big table, simply drinking, talking, having dinner. For the first time, I felt comfortable. It was great to be part of this big family, with its history and problems, qualities and defaults. Of course I wasn't able to say everything I wanted, given my limited German. But I did my best. And listened and smiled.

I was however a bit disappointed at M and the way he acted that night. Nothing big, but certainly a side I had never seen and I did not expect. A sort of selfishness. Which he quickly eluded when I brought up the subject. Which is now making me think twice about our temporary solution. Because it implies commitment and big changes mostly for me.

A temporary solution

We talked, discussed our options and both immediately agreed on which is the best one. Given, it's a temporary solution, but a solution nonetheless. We now have to look into it in detail, as it entails loads of drastic rapid changes. Give me a few days to research and coordinate, and I promise to tell you all about it. For now, all you need to know is that M and I are happy about the decision we made, and we are ready to start a brand new phase together as soon as January of 2006.

Forcing changes

M did not get the job. The Swiss company was forced to hire internally by its HQ. The sad part is that the Swiss company would have chosen M if allowed to hire externally. Anyhow, a new hope is gone and frankly, I cannot go on like this. I am falling apart. I believe I have been very strong and patient all these months. But enough is enough. Something needs to change. And as the famous proverb goes 'if the mountain won't come to Mohammed, Mohammed must go to the mountain', I am gonna have to force changes myself.

I am going to Hannover tomorrow; M and I will talk about our options. I have a pretty good idea of how to hasten changes, but I first have to see if M also sees that as a good option. Coming back to my current job after the Christmas holidays is certainly not an option in my book. More on that next week, when I'm back and know more about it myself!

Perfections and imperfections

The weekend was delightful, the party a huge success, and the site breath-taking (judge for yourself here). The sun and nice autumn weather also showed up, so we really have nothing to complain about.

Well, I take that back. I do have something to complain about, as when I attempted to return to Madrid on Sunday evening, Iberia had cancelled my flight. Uhu. Surprise surprise. So after two hours waiting in line at the Iberia Costumer Center desk, where of course only one person was taking care of rerouting all the passengers of my cancelled flight, I was given a cheap hotel voucher, and a boarding pass for the next day. I now have to write a letter to get the compensation I deserve according to my passengers rights, which reads very clearly minimum of 200 euros. Enough is enough, and in this case I really had too much. I hereby solemny vow to never fly with Iberia ever again (unless given no other choice that is.) Iberia, nunca mais!

Last but not least for today's post, tomorrow is the day when we FINALLY get the much expected confirmation about M getting the very perfect sounding job in Zurich for January.... Praying, wishing and hoping as always. Destiny will decide.