Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Mongui surroundings

As I mentioned yesterday I cannot wait till my dear 'mongui' colleagues leave on holidays (by mongui please understand mentally retarded.) I have only been back in the office for 3 days now and I am already fed up. Let me try to expain why.

Colleague n.1
Nicknamed trouduc which litterally means asshole in French. He is the typical overly nice and sweet guy who looks a bit like a teddy bear at first (when you still like him), but he soon gets on your nerves because of his complete incompetence and total stupidity, and you soon see him simply as overweight and dull. Not to mention his bad taste, not to say lack of taste, which in this case is very important as he is in charge of the stereo of our open space and keeps playing all the shittiest tackiest Spanish songs, my daily hell. He is by the way considered the music expert by our wonderful boss.

Colleage n.2
Nicknamed la pute incompétente which litterally means the incompetent bitch. In a nutshell: a) she is as false as can be, pretends to be nice only to better shoot you behind your back; b) she seems to be smart at first, but it is soon visible that she only pretends to, which is basically worse than trouduc, because at least he is true to himself, he knows that he's stupid and he does not try to fool you. She, on the other hand, is convinced that she's smarter than anyone else. She always knows better; c) she also pretends to have good taste but likes the same exact BS as trouduc; d) last but not least she is sooo cool and hip; like Buenafuente, she calls everybody 'neng', the fashionable tacky expression these days.

The intern
No nickname to this day, since she is practically invisible. She got the internship through the lover of our boss, friend of her father. I am not kidding. What she does when she comes to the office remains a mistery. On the plus side, she's innocent and nice, which in this team is truly exceptional.

THE boss
Ah the boss! Often nicknamed the alcoholic simply because she's more often than not drunk or hungover. She's the cherry on the cake: false, overly friendly, incompetent, stupid, deceitful, in a continuous drunken spaced out state. She's also famous for hacerse la Sueca, never better said as she is Swedish (please understand for pretending not to see/hear) and sleeping around especially with the managers of the office, obviously not too discreetly.

So, now that you have a complete picture of my daily surroundings, I am sure you can better understand my nightmarish suffering. ¡Bienvenido sea agosto!
PS: yes, I am as busy and motivated as yesterday
PS2: phew, kurt is right, that was really therapeutical!


kurt said...

it IS SO FUCKIN' therapeutical it scares.

El_Cookie said...

Hi, I found the link to your blog on VT. It is hilarious...I'll have to try this type of therapy myself.