Life is sweet

We are finally finding some kind of rhythm. Emily has good nights, spending more than 12 hours in our bed until around 10h30 in the morning. I am not saying that she sleeps through the night, as she wakes up quite often to eat, sometimes as often as every one or two hours, but she then falls back asleep immediately. In spite of these frequent awakenings, I am starting to recuperate some sleep at last.

As soon as she's awake, Emily spoils us with wonderful smiles. The whole room lights up when she looks at us smiling. Our hearts fill with joy and they feel as if they were going to explode. I know it sounds corny, but that's how we feel. She sleeps very little during the day; she mostly wants to play, or to cuddle in my arms. She's also loving the daily massages I am learning at the Baby massage classes.

Life is sweet.

Let it be

Just two days ago, I was so eager and ready to give birth that I was willing to try to provoke labor. Through old tricks like drinking 120 ml of castor oil. I am glad today that I didn't try that. Don't ask me why, but I suddenly see everything differently. With calm and patience. I feel zen. Let the baby come whenever she's ready. Let life follow its course. Which still means I'd be happy not to have to wait 12 days till the due date, as I can't wait to hold her in my arms.

Deceitful feeling

Sometimes you think you know. You feel it. Call it gut feeling, call it 6th sense. I was so sure of it. I was so certain, j'en aurais mis ma main au feu... But I found out today that I was wrong. Disappointing.

Hello nerves!

They have hit me at last. The pre-wedding nerves. People have been asking me for months now, whether I was nervous for the big day, and did not understand my lack thereof. I can reassure all these people today. I am fucking nervous! With all the little and big details still to solve, with the supposed and planned relaxing next week, which has turned into one of the most stressful weeks in the history of V's life, all this stress has indeed awaken the pre-wedding nerves.

I have said goodbye to a good night sleep and hello to the lack of appetite this week, which should theoretically make me a typical shiningly beautiful bride in 7 days. Thanks to the make-up classes that taught me how to look fresh despite the exhaustion, and the kilos I am loosing effortlessly that is. My only worry at this point being, how is a bride so... bride? Which and how many pills are recommended for me to get that placid happy angelic look on my face on the big day???

Good Karma

Good Karma

I really feel like I hit a strike of luck lately. The perfect Zurich job opportunity is moving forward: I will have my 3rd and last interview next Thursday. I feel really good, especially after the perfect weekend with the girls. My wedding dress is getting its retro 50s look with the last touches and I love it. With such good karma, maybe I should play the lottery!

Sick

My gastroenteritis became official late last night. I thus had to cancel my job interview and stay home today. Thankfully, the Berlin based company was understanding and has postponed my appointment to March 2nd. Plenty of time to get better, and fly to Switzerland as planned in order to help my mother with her move. The weather could not be more adapted to the circumstances: it's snowing non-stop.

Invisible

While Uma B. wonders if she'll disappear, I myself feel invisible.

Invisible as in lost or hidden in the dark.

Invisible as in time going by and yet nothing worth mentioning happening.

Invisible as if someone locked me in a waiting cell and all I can do is just that: wait, not visible to anyone.

I feel

as light as a feather (thanks to the decision I took.)

WOW!